LAUGHLIN RIVER RUN

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN, TIME FOR THE LAUGHLIN RIVER RUN, AN ANNUAL TRADITION SINCE 1983.  IT’S HARD TO SAY HOW MANY BIKERS ATTEND THE RUN, BUT THE BEST GUESS IS AROUND 50,000.

IN ADDITION TO GAMING, PARTIES, AND VENDORS ON BOTH SIDES OF THE RIVER SELLING BIKE PARTS, RIDING GEAR AND SOUVENIRS, THE RESORTS OFFER LIVE, FIRST-RATE ENTERTAINMENT.

BIKER BURLESQUE, AN ALL FEMALE REVUE APPEARS AT THE RIVERSIDE, CHEECH AND CHONG ARE AT HARRAH’S, ERIC BURDEN AND THE ANIMALS AT THE EDGEWATER, TRIBUTES TO JOHN FOGERTY AND LED ZEPPELIN AT THE TROPICANA.

DON’T MISS THE AMERICAN HELL RIDERS STUNT SHOW, THE BATTLE OF THE BANDS, THE LEATHER, LACE, AND BIKINI PARTY POOLSIDE, BEDROOM BABES LINGERIE FINALS, OR THE MS LAUGHLIN RIVER RUN CONTEST.

JUST KEEP THE JACK AND BUDS COMING !!!

  “SUNNY & 80”

Tavernier

By Uncle Hans

We recently slipped in and out of Florida for a weekend unnoticed.  Tavernier is the first town past Key Largo out on the Keys.  It is an hour from the airport in Miami, which means you can be on the beach for several hours of sun, leaving from any early morning in Spooner.  This is the first picture, our subject still has her Wisconsin, cold weather garb on..............

.........it is a small town, slow pace and kinda rundown.  It has one tavern (in Tavernier?), this Irish pub, which was OK..............

....there are no sugar sand beaches, but lots of sunshine and a hammock............

.................she makes that hammock look very inviting............

  ........The sunset we got was so-so, but I bet they get some spectacular ones.....

Tavernier was nice.  I would go back for the weather.

By Uncle Hans

PORCH PROGRESS

IT’S THE WEEK-END AGAIN, AND TIME TO SEE IF THE NEW PORCH IS PROGRESSING?

THEY HAVE THE PROPER TOOLS, AND LOOK IT’S ALL IN THE SHADE.

THE PANELS GO UP ONE BY ONE.

NOW IT’S STARTING TO LOOK LIKE A NEW PORCH !!!

“SUNNY & 80”

Born a Lutheran

Born a Lutheran

Each Friday night after work, Ole would fire up his outdoor grill on the shore of Big Stone Lake and cook a venison steak. But, all of Ole's neighbors were Catholic... And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks wafted over Ortonville all the way to Clinton , and was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

The Priest came to visit Ole, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Ole attended Mass.....and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Lutheran, and raised a Lutheran, but now you are a Catholic."

Ole's neighbors were relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood.

The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Ole's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Ole, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: "You vuz born a deer, you vuz raised a deer, but now you are a walleye."

HIGH ROLLERS

PART OF THE FUN IN GOING TO EXTREME BULLS, WAS BEING TREATED LIKE A HIGH ROLLER AT THE COLORADO BELLE.  RON AND CINDY GOT A WEEK-END PACKAGE THAT INCLUDED FOUR BULL RIDING TICKETS, FULL FOOD AND BEVERAGE COMPS, AND A HOTEL SUITE.

OH MY, EVERYTIME WE WALKED BY A CASINO BAR WE JUST FLASHED RON’S RED CARD AND THEY SET UP FRESH DRINKS FOR FREE, DIDN’T MATTER IF WE WERE GAMING OR NOT.

IN THE HIGH ROLLERS SUITE THERE WAS A GIFT BASKET.  BEING ALL FOUR OF US ARE FROM WISCONSIN WE DIVED RIGHT INTO THE WINE, NUTS, COOKIES, CHEESE, SAUSAGE, CRACKERS, AND LEFT THE APPLES.

HERE I AM BEHIND THE WET BAR.

AND THE REST OF THE SUITE.

WE PULLED OUT THE RED CARD AND ALL FOUR OF US ENJOYED A COUPLE HUNDRED DOLLAR$ WORTH OF STEAK AND LOBSTERS.

WITH THE SUNSHINE AND OUTSIDE AIR AT BULL RIDING, ALL THE FREE BEER I COULD DRINK, AND STEAK AND LOBSTER, I PASSED OUT AND WENT TO BED ABOUT 9:30 PM.

IN THE MORNING MARY HIT A ROYAL FLUSH PLAYING NICKELS, AND I SAW THAT $200 GET TUCKED AWAY IN HER TRAVEL FUND FOR HER UPCOMING TRIP TO WISCONSIN IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

LIFE AS A HIGH ROLLER WAS TOO SHORT BUT EVER SO SWEET!!!

EXTREME BULLS

LAUGHLIN IS ONE OF THE STOPS ON THE EXTREME BULLS CIRCUT.  BULL RIDING IS ALWAYS THE HIT OF ANY RODEO, SO THEY SPUN OFF THIS BULL RIDING COMPETITION.  THE PRIZE MONEY IN LAUGHLIN WAS OVER $60,000, AND IT’S GETTING TOWARD THE END OF THE SEASON, SO THE YOUNG COWBOYS WERE GIVING IT THEIR ALL, TO IMPROVE THIER SEASON POINT STANDINGS.

THE OBJECT IS TO STAY ON THE BULL FOR EIGHT SECONDS.  THE JUDGES SCORE THE BULL UP TO 50 POINTS IF IT’S TUFF TO RIDE, AN UP TO 50 POINTS FOR THE RIDER AND HIS SHOWMANSHIP.  THE SCORES ARE ADDED TOGETHER, AND MOST RIDERS THAT STAYED ON FOR EIGHT SECONDS HAD SCORES IN THE 80’S.

 

THIS COWBOY LOOKED GOOD COMING OUT OF THE GATE, BUT IN THE END THE BULL WON.

 

THE WEATHER WAS SUNNY WITH A TEMPERATURE OF 94, YOU KNOW THAT DRY HEAT…..

 

WE HAD COMPED TICKETS FROM THE COLORADO BELLE, THANKS TO OUR FRIEND CINDY.

HERE WE GO !

I KNEW A COUPLE OF GUYS WERE COMING TO GET STARTED ON THE PORCH PROJECT THIS MORNING, BUT AT 7:30 AM IT SOUND LIKE THEY WERE USING A JACK-HAMMER ON THE THE SIDE OF THE CAMPER RIGHT OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM.  WE HAD WORKED AT THE CASINO UNTIL 1 AM AND IT CERTAINLY JARRED US BOTH AWAKE.

SUSIE, THE CAT, DOESN’T LIKE PEOPLE AND WE HAVEN’T SEEN HER SINCE THEY ARRIVED.  SHE’S GONE TO HIDE OUT FOR THE DAY DEEP IN THE CLOSET.

THANK GOD YESTERDAY, MARY GOT ME UP OFF MY KESTER AND WE FINISHED MOVING ALL OUR STUFF OFF THE PATIO, AND MARY FINISHED THE WEED WACKING.

THE CONTRACTOR SHOWED UP AND UNLOADED MATERIALS FOR THE METAL AWNING.

THEY REMOVED THE CANVAS AWNING AND BEGAN THE METAL AWNING.  FOOTERS WERE DUG FOR THE POSTS.

THESE GUYS ONLY WORK ON WEEK-ENDS, BUT THE PORCH IS SUPPOSED TO BE COMPLETED BY THE 1ST OF MAY.  I BET THESE GUYS ARE GLAD WE DECIDED TO ADD THE PORCH IN APRIL INSTEAD OF JULY.

“SUNNY & 80”

NEW CHARCOAL GRILL

By Uncle Hans

I have retired my old charcoal grill.  There was some pressure to get a new fancy gas grill (Big Gas!), but I resisted and bought a simple charcoal grill.  There was, however, "some assembly required".........

.........I had a great coach.............

.....fortunately, the directions were in English...........

......and written by a 10 year-old for a 10 year-old............

.....total elapsed time: one hour.........

.......I bought the old one at the the Fleet Farm about a block from my house in Marshfield Wisconsin in 1978.  The design, as you can see, has not changed much.  It still has lots of air vents that can be adjusted for temperature control.  And, most importantly, it has many different heights of the grill from the fire that one can adjust.  This is the weakness of the omnipotent Weber, which has one cooking height only.  Alas, it is not porselinized like a Weber, so, after only 33 years, it has rusted through in a few places.

        I am Swiss and I know you want to know.  The old one cost $19.95 and the new one $144.00 plus shipping.  Plus I had to spend an hour assembling it and you don't want to know what I charge for an hour's work.............

     New and improved?  I doubt it..........

By Uncle Hans

ALL SYSTEMS GO

ALL SYSTEMS ARE “GO” FOR THE NEW PORCH!  WE MET WITH THE CONTRACTOR THE OTHER DAY, AND MADE THE FINAL DECISIONS AND PAID THE DEPOSIT FOR CONSTRUCTION FOR THE PORCH.

I USE THE OLE FASHION TERM “PORCH”, BUT TODAY IT’S CALLED AN ARIZONA ROOM. THE ROOM IS ENCLOSED WITH A SOLAR FABRIC INSTEAD OF SCREEN.  THE FABRIC ALLOWS THE HEAT TO ESCAPE AND KEEPS THE ROOM COOLER.  THE PORCH IS ON THE EAST SIDE TO PREVENT THE HEAT BUILD UP IN THE MORNING, AND ON THE SHADEY SIDE IN THE AFTERNOON.

HERE IS THE BEFORE PICTURE.

 

THE NEW PORCH WILL BE 10 FEET WIDE BY 30 FEET LONG, ACTUALLY DOUBLEING OUR LIVING SPACE. A SIDE DOOR, BACK DOOR, AND EVERYTHING WILL BE  BLUE OR GRAY.  MARY IS A LITTLE CONCERN AS CONSTRUCTION WILL BE WRAPPING UP ABOUT THE TIME SHE LEAVES FOR HER WISCONSIN TRIP, AND SHE FEARS I’LL TURN THE NEW AREA INTO A MAN CAVE WHILE SHE’S GONE.

DOESN’T THIS PREVENT YOU FROM HITTING THE ROAD WITH THE CAMPER? THE SAD ANSWER IS “YES”.  THE CAMPER WILL BE JACKED UP AND SET ON A TOTAL OF 12 JACK STANDS TO MAKE IT MORE STABLE AND THE ALUMINUM ROOF ATTACHED TO THE CAMPER.  WE’VE BEEN MAKING OUR WISCONSIN TRIPS HOME IN THE HONDA THE LAST SEVERAL YEARS ANYWAY, AND THE SLOW ECONOMIC RECOVERY IN THE CASINO BUSNINESS HAS HAD US STAYING IN LAUGHLIN THE LAST COUPLE OF SUMMERS.  THE LOSS OF OUR SUMMER CAMP AT WATERFALL MOUNTAIN LAST WEEK WAS JUST THE FINAL ITEM TO DECIDE TO JACK IT UP AND LET IT SIT.

BUT, BUT REX, YOU’VE BEEN A CAMPER YOUR WHOLE LIFE? THAT’S TRUE, AND DAY DREAMS OF A WINNEBAGO CLASS C AND A DETONATOR YELLOW JEEP ARE ALREADY DANCING IN MY HEAD. WHOA, PUT THE DAY DREAMS ON THE BACK BURNER, AND GET READY FOR PORCH CONSTUCTION TO START!!!

“SUNNY & 80”

Motorcycle Windshield

By Uncle Hans

The weather is ever nicer and it is time to spruce up the motorcycles for the season.  The windshield on this one is cracked and frayed.  It looks pretty good in this picture but it's time for a new one.  The paint on the W-shaped bracket is chipped from colliding with many bugs.  So that is today's project.........

The gouges out of the side are from a drag-racing accident I had with my neighbor, John.  He lost control and crashed into me as we left the starting line.  Luckily, we were going slow at the time.  The other fracture was when the bike "fell over" all by itself in front of a bar in East Dubuque, late one night that Rex remembers.  I think some local helped it fall over............

.......the old one is removed with the bracket..............

  the bracket is sanded and cleaned up ready for new paint..............

.....the new paint is added, with a coat of clear lacquer this time to slow the chipping from the bugs..........

.....here is the finished product.  The new windshield, from California Scientific, for $185 has new venting which is supposed to make it more effective as a windscreen and quieter.  Time will tell.  Maybe then I can hear my stereo, in which I have invested over $1,000 and I can't hear it.  And this bike is a fairly quiet Japanese bike.  How do they have stereos of Harleys?

By Uncle Hans

SUSIE IN THE CAT CAVE

 

         “SUNNY & 80”

JACKED UP

THE FIRST THING IN OUR PORCH PROJECT IS TO JACK UP THE TRAILER AND GET THE WEIGHT OFF THE WHEELS. WHEN I WENT AROUND TO THE FAR SIDE OF THE TRAILER I FOUND THE TIRES WERE ALMOST FLAT.  GUESS I NEEDED NEW TIRES WORSE THAN I THOUGHT.




GEEEES, JUST HOW OLD ARE THESE TIRES? THAT’S WHAT THE BLOG IS FOR.  I BOUGHT THESE TIRES IN SEPTEMBER OF 2006 IN WAUKON, IOWA.  THE DESERT SUN DOES RAISE HELL ON RUBBER AND PLASTIC PARTS.

THE VERY LOW (FLAT) TIRES MADE THE CLEARANCE UNDER THE TRAILER EVEN WORSE AS I SLID AROUND ON MY BELLY OR BACK I THE DESERT GRAVEL JACKING UP THE TRAILER TO PUT FOUR NEW JACK STANDS UNDERNEATH.




TODAY’S PROJECT TAXED MY TECHNICAL ABILITIES INVOLVING TOOLS TO THE MAX, AND WE HAVE A MEETING ON SUNDAY AFTERNOON WITH A CONTRACTOR FOR PORCH CONSTRUCTION.

I’LL KEEP YOU POSTED.

PLAN “C” ?

PLAN “C”?  MAYBE I SHOULD START AT THE BEGINNING WITH PLAN”A”.  SINCE THE YEAR 2000 WE SPENT SEVERAL SUMMERS ENJOYING PLAN “A”, WHERE WE FIRST TOOK OUR CAMPER BACK TO WISCONSIN AND THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER TO DEAL BLACKJACK AT THE MISS MARQUETTE RIVERBOAT CASINO IN MARQUETTE, IOWA.

AFTER THAT, WE SPENT A HALF A DOZEN SUMMERS AT BEAUTIFUL LAKE TAHOE, SLAP’IN JACKS AT HARVEY’S CASINO. MAN-O-MAN THOSE WERE THE GOOD OLE DAYS!!!

WHEN THINGS WENT TO HELL IN TAHOE DUE TO INDIAN CASINO COMPETION AND THE SHITTY ECONOMY, WE REVERTED TO PLAN “B” AND STAYING IN THE MOHAVE VALLEY.

PLAN “B” WAS EXCITING AND OUR SUMMER CAMP AT WATERFALL MOUNTAIN WILL ALWAYS BE ONE OF OUR FAVORITES.  IT WAS A TRUE TESTING GOUND OF BOONDOCKING AND LIVING IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE WITH NO NEIGHBORS.  WE BOTH LOVED IT.

WE LEARNED TODAY THAT THE HOME OWNERS AT WATERFALL MOUNTAIN ARE STAYING FOR THE SUMMER TO COMPLETE CONSTRUCTION ON THIER NEW HOME, AND OUR SUMMER CAMPSITE WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE TO US.

ON TO PLAN “C” ……..

AS WE THOUGHT ABOUT PLAN “C” WE BOTH AGREED THAT PLAN “A’S” AND PLAN “B’S” ARE A LOT MORE FUN.

BUT PUTTING THE “HAPPY” INTO HAPPY CAMPERS, WE’RE MOVING FORWARD. SINCE THE CAMPER NEEDS NEW TIRES THIS SUMMER ANYWAY, INSTEAD WE’VE DECIDE TO JACK THE TRAILER UP AND LEAVE IT PARKED PERMANTENTLY.

WE SPENT THE AFTERNOON PLANNING THE ADDITION OF A PERMANENT ENCLOSED AWNING OR PORCH ABOUT 8 FOOT WIDE BY 30 FOOT LONG. OF COURSE AN OUTDOOR SUMMER KITCHEN, AND PUZZLE AREA WILL BE INCLUDED.

STAY TUNED FOR PORCH CONSTUCTION, PAVERS, SKIRTING, OUTDOOR KITCHEN, AND “SUNNY & 120” DAYS TO FOLLOW.

 

Walmart Interview

WALMART INTERVIEW

Jennifer a manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening.. After sorting through a stack of 20 resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.


The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'

The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no
warning.

'That's very good!' replied Jennifer. 'And, now you sir?', she asked the second man.

'Hmmm.....let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it
ever happened.. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.

'Excellent!' said Jennifer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular
cliche for speed.'

 She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating
his reply.'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch.. When you flip that switch, way out across the
pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yip,
TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.

Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found
her man. 'It's hard to beat the speed of light,' she said.

Turning to Bubba, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same
question.

Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious
to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.

'WHAT!?' said Jennifer, stunned by the response...

'Oh sure', said BUBBA. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and
I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE
LIGHT, I had already shit my pants.

BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!