"MARY WILKINSON", REPORT TO .....

WE'VE HAD THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS "OFF". WE ATTENDED A STREET FAIR IN GARDENERVILLE. IT WAS THE USUAL COLLECTION OF STREET VENDORS, BUT INCLUDED LIVE MUSIC, AND DRAFT BEERS. THE HUMANE SOCIETY WAS THERE TRYING TO GIVE AWAY KITTY'S, GOOD THING OUR NEIGHBOR STEVE WASN'T THERE AS THEY HAD THE CUTEST LITTLE SIAMESE KITTEN THAT HE WOULD HAVE SCOOPED UP IN A SECOND.

OF COURSE BEING IN MINDEN/GARDENERVILLE INCLUDED A STOP IN THE FRENCH BAR, A LOCALS JOINT THAT'S ONLY OPEN FROM 11 AM TO 6 PM. AS USUAL WE ORDERED BEER, WHISKEY, AND THE "SHAKE-A-DAY". IF YOU'RE NOT FROM WISCONSIN, "SHAKE-A-DAY" IS A BAR ROOM DICE CUP WITH 5 OR 6 DICE, RULES VARY FROM BAR TO BAR BUT IF YOU SHAKE THE IMPOSSIBLE 5 OR 6 OF A KIND YOU WIN THE POT. OTHERWISE YOUR DOLLAR GOES INTO THE POT.

#15, THE BAR LADY IN THE FISHNET SHIRT AND MINI SKIRT, SET UP OUR DRINKS AND SAID, "SORRY, SHAKE-A-DAY IS CLOSED".

WHAT? "SHAKE-A-DAY" IS CLOSED? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? SEEMS THE LOCALS ALL GOT TOGETHER AND DECIDED AFTER THE POT GETS OVER $120, THE GAME IS CLOSED TO OUTSIDERS UNTIL A LOCAL WINS THE POT. THAT 11 AM BAR CROWD MUST BE A "TUFF" GROUP!!! I WONDER WHAT THE ALMIGHTY NEVADA GAMING COMMISSION WOULD THINK OF THAT "RULE"?

WE MADE A "RUN" TO DOWNTOWN CARSON CITY AND WHILE DRIVING IN TOWN, MARY NOTED A CASINO CALLED CARSON STATION. DON'T ASK ME WHY, BUT I HAD BEEN CARRYING AROUND A COUPON FOR A FREE FUN BOOK AT CARSON STATION FOR OVER A WEEK IN MY POCKET. WE WHIPPED AROUND THE BLOCK, PARKED, AND WENT IN TO SIGN UP FOR A PLAYERS CARD AND CLAIM OUR FREE FUN BOOK OF COUPONS WHICH INCLUDED:

* FREE DRINK

*$10 IN FREE SLOT PLAY

* 2 FOR 1 MEALS IN THE RESTAURANT

* FREE SHRIMP COCKTAIL

* 2 FOR 1 PIZZAS

*FREE KENO PLAY

* 20% OFF AT THE GIFT SHOP

WE WON $2 ON THE KENO TICKET, THE FREE SHRIMP COCKTAIL WAS MINI SALAD SHRIMP WITH FRESH LEMON AND COCKTAIL SAUCE, MARY RAN THE FREE $10 IN SLOT PLAY UP TO $25.

WE HAD A "GOOD" NEVADA BARTENDER. A "GOOD" NEVADA BARTENDER WILL ALWAYS "COMP" ALL YOUR DRINKS FOR "FREE" FOR A $1-$2 TIP. A "BAD" NEVADA BARTENDER WILL ONLY "COMP" YOUR DRINKS IF YOU'RE PLAYING A SLOT MACHINE WITH MAX COINS BET.

WE DECIDE TO HAVE THE 2 FOR 1 PIZZAS WHILE WATCHING MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL. I WALKED UP TO THE PIZZA ORDER WINDOW, AND ORDERED A SAUSAGE PIZZA FOR $4.09, THEN I LAID THE FREE PIZZA COUPON ON THE CUTE LITTLE MEXICAN CHICK, AND ASKED WHAT I COULD GET FOR "FREE"? "ANY SMALL PIZZA YOU'D LIKE, SENOR", WAS HER ANSWER. YOU MEAN I CAN ORDER A "FREE" PIZZA WITH THE WORKS? YUP, AND THEY WERE GOOD PIZZAS!!! "TOKES" MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND IN NEVADA!!!

"MARY WILKINSON", PLEASE REPORT TO CUSTOMER SERVICE, YOU'RE OUR DRAWING WINNER OF $25. BOY, THIS PLACE KNOWS HOW TO PUT "FUN" INTO FUN BOOK COUPONS !!! MARY SAYS WE'RE RETURNING TODAY FOR 2 FOR 1 RESTAURANT MEALS, SOMETHING ABOUT BROILED HALIBUT?

WE ALSO GOT ALL THE PINE SAP REMOVED FROM THE CAR AND TRUCK, ALONG WITH THE FALL WASH AND WAX. A COUPLE OF GOOD DAYS OFF!!!