HAPPY APRIL'S FOOLS DAY

MIGHT BE A GOOD DAY TO CATCH UP ON MY PUNCH LINE FILE.

THE PUNCH LINE
"Insurance companies are a lot like hospital gowns. Chances are your ass isn't covered." -- Bill Maher

THE PUNCH LINE
"The economy is bad. In Beverly Hills, on prom night, some kids might even have to share a limo." -- Jay Leno

THE PUNCH LINE
"Terror struck Orange County as someone toilet papered the new home of "Octomom" Nadya Suleman. I will say this, it's nice to see that Americans can finally afford to waste toilet paper again; maybe the economy is turning around." -- Jimmy Kimmel


THE PUNCH LINE
"The Federal Reserve says Americans last year lost $11 trillion dollars in household wealth. You know, that is our own stupid, greedy fault for putting money in banks. If we'd lost it in Las Vegas, they would have at least comped the room." -- Bill Maher

THE PUNCH LINE
"(President Barack) Obama was on TV saying Americans are angry. We are angry. But we don't want a press conference -- we want to see Obama pelting AIG executives with a sock full of quarters shouting, 'Here's change we can believe in!' " -- Craig Ferguson



THE PUNCH LINE
"I have a plan to end the wars in both Iraq and Afghanistan: Bring all our soldiers home, and send in our investment bankers. They'll screw up the place in six months." - Jay Leno

THE PUNCH LINE
"Your final paper in English was titled 'TV Guide: Gateway to Viewing Pleasure.'" -- From David Letterman's "Top Ten Signs You're Not Going to Graduate from High School This Year."