Short Shorts

After the blogs about our recent trip to Vegas, I got some flack about the shorts I wear. I am used to it. Seems I am hopelessly out of style. So I write today to explain and editorialize. We wore "cut-offs" when we were little. We would get one new pair of jeans a year and when these were no longer "patchable" in the knees, Mom cut 'em off. Shorts in those days were, ...well, .....short. I mean, what is the point of long shorts? Shorts are to better ventilate you and to constrict your movement less than pants. The shorter the better, right?

Then came the 80's. Pro basketball players started wearing longer shorts, mostly for modesty and so their stuff didn't show when they fell down. Makes sense to me. But what does not make sense is how that immediately caught on as a fashion and remains chiseled in stone to this day. NO SHORT SHORTS!! NEVER!!


Well I am here to tell you that I wear them anyway. They are comfortable.


In Europe and the rest of the world, something strange has happened. Even though the rest of the world is CRAZY for American fashion (American everything!), they do not crave American football. Or baseball. Or basketball. They all LOVE soccer. Soccer players do not apparently care about their stuff when they fall and have always worn short shorts. They are revered as GODS and therefore the people of the rest of the world do NOT generally wear long shorts with the crotch hanging down to their knees (what the HELL is up with that? Is that attractive?). The rest of the world wears short shorts. You will regularly see speedos on the beach. The male legs is on display along with the female legs. Simply amazing!


So, you see. I am not hopelessly out of style. I am in the wrong place, maybe, but we Americans need to remember that we do not rule the world. The rest of the world is a very large place.


And there are a lot of short shorts out there........


Uncle Hans




P. S. I don't wear wear the little camo shorts out in public anymore since two people died laughing so hard............