FINALLY GOT INTERNET

JEES, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A 15 MINUTE DRIVE ACROSS TOWN TO PICK UP A WIRELESS MODEM, SCREW INTO A TV JACK FROM THE CABLE TV, POWER UP THE MODEM AND PRESTO INTERNET.

NOPE THE SON OF A BITCH WOULDN'T WORK, CALL TO TECH SUPPORT, DO THIS DO THAT, DO THIS AGAIN AND WAIT 30 MINUTES THEN CALL BACK. CALL BACK AN HOUR LATER (AND A COUPLE OF BEERS) , SAME SCRIPT AS BEFORE. FINALLY THE GUY ON THE PHONE SAYS, “WE NEED TO SEND OUT A SERVICE MAN”.

“GREAT”, I REPLIED, “WHEN WILL HE BE HERE?”

DAY 2

I’VE BEEN SITTING HERE ALL DAY WAITING FOR LARRY THE CABLE GUY…..

HE FINALLY SHOW UP ABOUT 1:30, COMES IN AND PUTS A METER ON THE CABLE, SHAKES HIS HEAD AND ASKS IF THE TV WORKS. THE SIGNAL IS SO LOW HE’S SURPRISED TO SEE A PICTURE ON THE TV.

HE HAD TO REMOVE THE TRAILER SKIRTING IN THREE DIFFERENT PLACES AND COMPLETLY REWIRE THE FOUR TV CABLE JACKS, AND ADD A DIRECT LINE FOR INTERNET. AT ONE POINT A SECOND CABLE TRUCK AND GUY SHOWED UP TO HELP HIM PULL WIRES AND I’M THINKING, OH NO, I’M NOT GOING TO BE LIKING THIS BILL! THE CABLE GUY WAS YOUNG AND POLITE, BUT I COULD READ HIS THOUGHTS OF WHAT A CLUSTER FUCK OF CABLES UNDER THIS TRAILER.

TWO HOURS LATER EVERYTHING IS WORKING PROPERLY, AND THE PICTURE ON MY SONY TV LOOKS LIKE A NEW SET. HE SHAKES MY HAND AND THANKS ME FOR THE COLD BOTTLES OF WATER, AND THE HELP WITH THE SKIRTING, NO CHARGE!

ALL’S WELL, THAT ENDS WELL……