Wednesday, December 16, 2020

Toilet Paper

 Ya, I know, I know, it's 2020 and the last thing you want to hear about is toilet paper.  But I am going to write a toilet paper story anyway.

I am a female and, being a female, I use toilet paper every time I go to the bathroom.  I kind of get really, really pissed (no pun intended) if there is no toilet paper in the dispenser.

Let me give you an example of how upset I can get.

At the health club I belonged to several years ago, I entered a stall in the locker room and noticed there wasn't any TP.  No big deal, I used another stall.  Then I went to the desk and told the 2 employees there that there wasn't any TP in that stall.  Cool, they will get right on it.

After my workout, I went to use the bathroom and went into that stall.  Unfortunately, I didn't check first for TP.  There wasn't a note on the door saying it was out of TP.  Was I really, really pissed.  Oh ya!  At the desk, the story I got was they were out of TP and the other employee ran to get some.  So why no note?  No real answer.  So I said, you know what, because there was no TP, I now have piss dribble in my pants, and I don't like piss dribble in my pants.  Then I walked out the door.

Do you think they're still talking about the old lady that bitched about piss dribble?

Now let's go to the incident in Socorro NM.  

Socorro is right off the Interstate and I really had to go.  We stopped at the first place off the I.  For some reason, I happened to notice a sign on the window by the door.  I made a b-line for the ladies.  There was a lady in there washing her hands.

I went to a stall and went.  Damn, I had to go #2 and I didn't check for TP as is my custom.  I hate situations like this!!  I yelled out but I was the only one in the bathroom.  What do I do?  This is what I did.

I held my pants down below my knees and crab-walked to the next stall.  Guess What???  NO TP in the other stall either!  So I had to crab- walk to the sink (thank God no one came in) to get paper towels.  Did I want to put that in the wastebasket?  Absolutely not, but the alternative would be to flush it down the toilet and clog that.  Something I would never to no matter how pissed I am.

Now I am REALLY, REALLY PISSED.  I go storming out of the bathroom directly to the clerk and told him there was not 1 square of toilet paper in the ladies' room and that, that was unconscionable!

Unfortunately for her, the lady that was in the bathroom washing her hands was at the checkout.  I said she could have at least warned me.  I would have warned her.

Now, back to the noticed phone number.  I went out to the car, got my phone and called the manager.  I was not belligerent, or unreasonable.  I just told them how unacceptable it is to not have any TP in the ladies' room.

Do you think they still remember the old lady that had a fit over toilet paper?

P.S.  If I come to your house, please have toilet paper in reach.