Saturday, April 24, 2010

Belated Birthday

By Susie-Q

I knew Mary would screw up and forget somebody's Birthday, and guess what?  She forgot ME !!!  Yup, yesterday was my first birthday.  Of course in human years that makes me 15.

It's been an interesting year with the Happy Campers raising me and teaching me the ways of RV life.  Now that I'm a teenager it's ME teaching them.  Neither one of them are really "Cat People", and they still have a lot to learn.

Last month when they brought home an outdoor dog kennel I laid it on them.  I am A Cat and love living inside the RV.  I'm not going for a walk on a leash, and I'm sure as hell not sitting outside in a wire cage.  Normally I'm easy going and don't have anything to say, kinda like Rex, but put me in cage outside and I'll howell and cry for as long as it takes.  Steve, the neighbor, even threaten to call the society for the prevention to the cruelty of animals.

Geees, are they stupid or what?  They put me out there a second day, although they gave up in a couple of hours the second day.  That was it.  I high tailed it to deep in the closet where they could never find me and spent a week.  I could hear them out there sweetly calling my name and shaking my treat box, but...... Screw That!!

Just to show you how SLOW they are about Cats, after being in hiding for seven days, and no cute little black pussy cat around to entertain them,  they finally got up in the middle of the night while I was out in the front room eating and closed the closet doors.  I peaked outside, and the big wire cage was GONE.  I guess I won that round.

The current on going problem is my habit of scratching.  I mean I can't help it.  When you wake up from a Cat Nap it's the natural thing to do, stretch and scratch with my front paws.  When they remind me, I stop instantly and give them that sweet, "I'm so sorry, I forgot look".  

They have pretty much decided to take me to Green Bay and have Uncle Neil, the vet, remove my front claws.  OUCH, can you imagine?  Have your finger nails pulled out with a pliers?  I think NOT !!!   Even Dick Cheney wouldn't sign off on torture like that.

To combat them, I have a two phase plan.  First I called a meeting and explained to them why they got a cat last summer in the first place.  To eliminate and catch mice.  Have you seen any mouse turds in the kitchen lately?  Are you returning to Oatman, land of the mice, to camp again this coming summer?  How can I preform my duties if you take away my number one weapon?  MY CLAWS  !!!

The second phase has been on going.......  the Happy Campers are heading to Wisconsin for a vacation soon.  Part of their plan is to take me along (to Green Bay) and they began taking me for rides in the car, talking about a litter box for the car, my favorite red bed in the car, etc.  I HATE RIDING IN THE CAR  !!!

Come on guys........  I'm like 15 years old now, and old enough to stay home by myself.  Do you really want a whining cat in the car for a 4,000 mile road trip?  Do I really give a shit about meeting Grandma, and a slug of grandchildren?  Now I've never met a child before, but I'm guessing I hate kids.   I'll be good at home, I promise !

I thought it was a losing battle, until today.  They started laying down the rules while they are gone to Wisconsin on vacation:

* Don't run the A/C lower than 90 degrees
* No teenage parties
* There's an extra bag of Cat food behind the living room chair
* Do not jump on top of the slide out
* No tomcats in here, either neutered or not neutered.
* Stay out of Grandma Jack's whiskey

They are leaving on Monday for Wisconsin, Let's hope they don't change their minds.  Hmmmm......  I wonder if those closet doors are left open, I may need to hide out for a few days.



buddhist and the biker said...

just found your blog, mind if I follow along?