Friday, August 18, 2017

Football Camp

By Uncle Hans

For at least a year before I left for football camp, Renee tried to get me to go to yoga class. She felt that poor flexibility would lead to injury. Her pleas fell on deaf ears......mine. So I was sort of amused when I saw yoga class on the schedule. After an hour of yoga, lead by a very stern and very ripped young man, I could see what she was trying to say.

     Flexibility at 65 is a serious problem. Yoga may be a solution, but me at yoga class is like pounding a square peg into a round hole. I am sorry, my heels do not ever touch my butt and haven't for at least 20 years. We have yoga at least twice a week, and I dread it almost as much as on-field practice. I will admit that I feel warm and relaxed at the end. Sort of like hitting yourself on the head with a brick....... it feels good when you stop.


This is the weight room. It is beautiful, but another source of dread. We do what is euphemistically called a "team lift" about twice a week as well. It is run by the same stern young man for whom I am developing a dislike. I have worked out since November 1st 2016, every day. It has been progressive and at this time consists of three sets of 50 "cheater" pull ups (not full extension) and 100 inclined push ups.  Doing the math, that's lifting 80,000 pounds in 15 minutes.

     I felt that routine would help me in the weight room. I was wrong. Somehow I can do 100 inclined push-ups and only 3 185 lb bench presses. Seems to me like that's using the same muscles. A typical team lift is five stations with different lifting activities lasting an hour. It is embarrassing because I have to reduce the weights every time I approach the bar. And I have to use smaller free weights. Hard to be almost always the poorest performer at each station............


Because it is hard to recruit talented young men to a small school in the middle of nowhere without scholarships, there has been a problem in the past in this little town with young men of "uneven" character. Let's just say they kept the police up late some nights. A concerted effort is being made now to correct this. It's one of the reasons our numbers are seriously small, but credit is due the school and the football program for selectively seeking truly Christian athletes.

      Those efforts have generated some interesting events. This picture is of a community feed for the football players as a welcome. It is put on by volunteers from town.


During camp we have mandatory church attendance as a team at the local Assemblies of God Church. Today we are doing community service by laying sod at the local golf course. Clean up after every  meal in the cafeteria is done by volunteers from the football team.  But, as a result of this careful and selective recruitment, I am with a great bunch of guys with good values.

     There are only two days of camp left, praise the Lord. If I make it through camp, the season will be easier. I am stiff and sore,

..............and I am determined to make it through camp.

Uncle Hans


Feel free to share the “FootballAT65” story with your friends.


Anonymous said...

Too bad you didn't listen to Renee.....your downward dog sucks! From Mary W.

Renee said...


Anonymous said...

Too late now. It's crazy because my position is outside linebacker which, in the business, they call a "dawg". After each play I tend to be!

Anonymous said...

How does it feel to be in love with a college football cornerback?


Norman said...

Come on and post something Dawg! Gotta make sure you're not in a body cast!


Unknown said...

Dont get stuck in that position!!!

Unknown said...

Hans... Dont break a hip!

Greg MuellerUp said...

Hans - how are things going? I am having old timers problem blogging.

Anonymous said...


I am sore, and I am stiff, but there is no plaster yet...


Anonymous said...

I just asked for help to get up LOL!

Anonymous said...

Mellow fellow,

I hear you. You can't play football with a walker LOL!