CURE FOR THE COMMON COLD

WHY IS IT, THAT EVERY YEAR, EVEN IN THE PURSUIT OF "SUNNY & 80", I CATCH A TERRIBLE COLD? THIS YEAR WAS NO EXCEPTION, IT KNOCKED ME ON MY ASS AS USUAL, AND I MISSED THREE DAYS OF WORK.


YOU KNOW THE COLD I'M TALKING ABOUT. THE ONE THAT ONLY TAKES SEVEN DAYS TO GET OVER IF YOU GO TO THE DOCTOR AND TAKE THE $150 WORTH OF PRESCRIBED MEDS, OR IF YOU STAY HOME AND REST TAKES A WHOLE WEEK TO GET OVER.

STUMBLING AROUND THE COASTAL MOUNTAINS OF SOUTHERN OREGON LAST SPRING I FOUND THE CURE FOR THE COMMON COLD.

BRANDY PEAK IS A FAMILY OWNED MICRO-DISTILLERY, THE ONLY LEGAL, WOOD FIRED, POT STILL, IN THE NATION.

SO AS LONG AS I'M GOING TO MISS A FEW DAYS OF WORK, I'LL CURL UP WITH A BUCKET OF ICE AND A BOTTLE OF THIS BLACKBERRY BRANDY TO CURE THE COMMON COLD.

FEEL BETTER? CRABBY REX?

THE PUNCH LINE
"A plastic surgeon here in the United States has rigged his car so that it runs on fat left over from liposuction. That's right, Middle East -- a car that runs on fat. Now who has the greatest energy reserves in the world?" -- Conan O'Brien